Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize