I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i barfeds in our rink
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
