rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
