I need help removing her.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
