Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
