Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Found the puke drawer
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
