There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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