his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
