so let's talk penis.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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