we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
