My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
