But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
