Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
