..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
