i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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