How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
