I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
