VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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