You made me cry and you don't even care
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
