as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
