it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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