Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
