there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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