if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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