Tell her she can't have a vagina
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
