he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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