so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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