It's like God shit irony all over that family
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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