My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
