He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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