I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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