I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
These tits shall not be calmed
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