11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
return my video game
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
