first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
