I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
