There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
