hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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