At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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