dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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