i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
