she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
