they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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