even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
