Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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