Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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