Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
