so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
