he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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