Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
