I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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