I seem to have left my pride at pride
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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