think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
