Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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